Therapy

I just received my first package from back home. It was so pleasantly unexpected. My grandfather had mentioned he would send it off soon, but we've been having that same conversation for about three months now and he didn't actually confirm that it was on it's way.

Besides, it was on a day when I was hurried and it gave me a reason to slow the pace for a moment.

I now have most of my treasured Christmas decorations, excluding the extremely breakable nativity I've had since I can remember, but including "Claymation Christmas" and my new stocking. I also found some jewelery I thought I had lost, but had actually left behind and my favorite mug from Crater Lake that makes me feel like I am snuggled up in a wool sweater. Christmas can, now, officially start!)

The biggest piece of therapy was the dvd my grandfather sent of my gramma's 'celebration of life.' It was an hour and a half long and I only put it in to see if it functioned, but ended up watching the whole thing. There were a couple moments where I teared up, but mostly it was good to finally see what I had missed. It was great to see all the things people said about my grandmother. It made me realize what big shoes we all have to fill and how God really did make one in a million with her.

I also found it fascinating to see what people choose to share once someone is gone (myself included). The pastor read my poem-esk contribution at the end; I noticed that it could probably make no sense to anyone else but me and I wondered if I would change anything if I were to rewrite it. Would I know any better now, four months later, of what would best describe my feelings and memories of her and our relationship.

Anyway, I had a wholely unexpected, but appreciated dose of therapy this evening. God is good!