I am currently cooking dinner (Salmon Tortellini with lemon butter sauce) at 8pm. This is quite late for me nowadays. But, I thought I would take a moment to chat with you all since I have been quite bad at it lately. I think part fo me feel like there is so much to tell, I don't know what to leave out, so it's exhausting to just think about what to right, much less actually write it, and then life is life here like anywhere else and so what part of it is really special.
It's interesting how each week I feel more and more confused and behind, yet I also feel like I am finally getting settled and understanding things.
Recently, God and I had a little meeting. It wasn't so pleasant, although after the fact I was excited because my grandfather had asked me a few weeks ago what he could share with his sundayschool class about what I was learning over here. That hadn't been the first for that question from the states and I finally have something to share...
It was recently brought to my attention that I can so easily get wrapped up in my frustrations and anger that I lose sight of anything past me. I, thus become selfish, as well angry. I think the funniest part of this sudden realization was that it came while I was at the grocery store and I was completely uncensored about it. **Sorry, if you get offended by this next part, but it's the truth and most of you reading this are adults.** I was standing in the soup aisle when I looked up at the ceiling and stated audibly, "I am such an ass." No one was around to hear me, but it sent the message home for me. I am a jerk sometimes and that is not a good way to be a witness for Christ.
The kicker was when I got home and had my time with God that night, I read James 1:19-20. My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (NIV) I was not doing any of that and it didn't matter whether or not I was right; I should be doing all of it. The part that really sunk in was that I had always had the interpretation that if I acted in anger, the recipient would probably not lead a life pleasing to God, but that night I saw a new perspective. If I have anger, I will not lead a life pleasing to God. Wow. simple I know, but profound when I was so poorly navigating my feelings and relationships.
Anyway, I hope you all are encouraged that God is teaching me and I have a renewed desire to be open to that teaching, but aren't too discouraged that I am imperfect;)
On a happier note about James. My students and I have decided to try and memorize the book of James this year. We'll see how far we get. It's been about a week and a half and we have the first two verses down pretty solidly. Although, I keep trying to slip into NIV (New International Version)while they only know the NIRV (New International Reader's Version). We better step it up, though, if we're to get through the whole thing.
A half an hour later, I am finally done with dinner and out of energy for blogging, so I will say guten abend and hopefully see you sooner versus later.
-Aubrey
No comments:
Post a Comment